A spot of humour for the beginning of the school holidays…it’s good for my sanity, so they say!
Yes, the little darlings. Adorable. What would we do without them?
Sometimes you need reminded why you thought having children was a good idea at the time (other than the alcohol). So here are a few reminders to keep you focussed in the tough times.
1. It’s good to have someone about whom you know more than they do. (This does wear off as they get older.)
2. It’s good to have someone who knows less about the entire world than you do. Note: as they get older the things you know that they don’t will become less relevant. Enjoy it while it lasts.
3. Surely your genetic heritage should be part of the future of the world? (Please complete a full psychology testing / personality profile before answering this one.)
4. There is also a fair chance your children will be compatible blood donors (particularly if you pick your partner based on blood type). It is good to have portable donor/s available at all times.
5. One day you might need a kidney transplant or bone marrow transplant. Your children are a 50% genetic match.
6. All of those dreams you had that were too hard, unrealistic / never came true? You can now work them out through your children, giving them the full benefit of your hard-won wisdom and drive at the same time. They will appreciate this.
7. When the world won’t listen to you, usually your children will. Even when you are talking complete drivel.
8. Given that child labour is illegal, it is important to have a ready source of children whom you can teach “chores” and “responsibility”.
9. Children are a great excuse to do silly things, fun things – watch parades, visit theme parks, ride on swings and flying foxes.
10. Children are a great excuse to have all the best toys in the house… XBox, Playstation etc
11. Your parents tend to like the idea of being grandparents. Your cute children could get you back in your parents’ good books – if only because they enjoy watching you go through what they went through with you.
Disclaimer: The author would like to declare that this in no way reflects upon her own relationship with her children.