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Tags: fashion, funny, humour, peer pressure, societal pressure
Categories : Humour, Psychology and Society
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.
Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living.
Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include: dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
Please feel free to share this important information with as many as you feel may benefit!
Now, just imagine what you could achieve with a good Shiraz…
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Tags: Cabernet Sauvignon, funny, humor, humour, red wine, stress relief
Categories : Humour
One of my favourite books, Douglas Adam’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (a trilogy in five parts) has its hero travelling the universe interminably seeking….who knows what. Well he thinks he is seeking the earth in some parallel universe – it has been destroyed in his own universe. Anyway, this is actually beside the point.
Because of his excessive travel and excessive boredom, and because he was trapped on a spaceship which was put in suspended animation while they awaited a delivery of moist towelettes so they could take-off, when his flight is actually involved in an emergency, he is the only one who survives because he is the only one who has actually listened to the safety instructions.
Flying with children who are somewhat nervous brought this to mind. They are the only ones on the flight who listen to the stewards doing the emergency instructions, and are the only ones reading the evacuation and emergency procedures card.
Airline staff are one of those stereotypes that often is the butt of comedy jokes. And none-so-more that the emergency procedures which is, after all, the most distinctive thing about them from the viewpoint of the flying public.
Who has not seen a hilarious skit where the stewards turn the safety presentation into a lesson on bondage? Oh – what? only me? Ah well. It stayed with me.
Australian comedian Adam Hills tells a story about a hostie who had integrated some Auslan sign language (Australian sign language for hearing impaired) into the safety presentation. Only in Australia is there sign language for “Fuck you, Fuck youse all” (youse being plural of you, for those unfamiliar with vernacular bogan). I won’t spoil the joke – it can be viewed here.
However, airlines are starting to get in on the joke. Air New Zealand has released this Hobbit inspired safety video. While it is a hit on Youtube, I presume it is also shown on flights. While the safety details are pretty much the same as any other safety video, one would have to be more concerned about finding an orc, or Gollum sitting alongside or behind you….and there are no suggestions how to deal with unpleasant fellow-passengers. Also notable, two of Tolkien’s grandsons make guest appearances, as does Director Peter Jackson. This isnt Air New Zealand’s first effort – a previous safety video (view here) features stewards and passengers wearing…..body paint!
Of course other airlines have tried to make the safety videos mire interesting, notably….Thomson Airlines (featuring small children, this video from Sri Lankan Airlines is animated, as is this offering from Virgin Airlines, Delta Airlines, and Cebu Pacific’s video featuring a choreographed presentation, which must surely make the routine more entertaining for staff, as well as passengers.
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Tags: Adam Hills, Air New Zealand, airlines, Arthur Dent, aviation, Cebu Pacific. Thomson Airlines, comedy, Delta Airlines, Douglas Adams, Gollum, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Hobbit, humor, humour, Orc, Peter Jackson, Sri Lankan Airlines, Tolkine, travel, Virgin Airlines, Youtube
Categories : at large, Humour
Children have an instinct for humour. Even small babies laugh at something unexpected, however their organised and word-based humour takes a little while to kick in. But they’re keen. Most children rapidly learn the power that being able to make someone laugh conveys. The ability to inspire humour and a positive mood in another being is a powerful thing.
Part of the process of understanding humour and then being able to replicate it yourself, is the types of humour learned from one’s peers at school. As well as the inevitable and apparently hilarious toilet humour (what do you call hundreds and thousands? Smartie-poos. Hilarious! You said “poo”! And while if you have explain a joke it is no longer funny, for the sake of American readers, translate hundreds and thousands to multi-coloured cake sprinkles, and Smarties to M&Ms.), the somewhat existential chicken-crossing-road jokes, and the pun (what did the chicken say when its mother laid an orange? Look at the orange-mama-laid!), there is the knock-knock joke.
As anyone who has been subjected to endless knock-knock jokes by a small child or three knows, knock-knock jokes are not funny. They usually turn around some sort of pun and while I love puns, knock-knock jokes seem to have managed to harness every non-funny pun in the universe with which to torment me. And it would seem impossible to say just one knock-knock joke. They seem to come in packs of between twenty and a hundred. I suspect knock-knock jokes are behind many a minor car accident as a parent has been driven to distraction.
However, I have come across two funny knock knock jokes, and in the interest of balance and making things right in the universe, pun-wise, I present them here for your entertainment and delectation…..
1. A basic understanding of trekkie-dom is required for this one.: Vulcans doing knock Knock jokes.
“I do not understand.”
“Just say ‘who’s there.’”
“But I already know your identity.”
“Yes, but it’s for the joke.”
“This is a joke?”
“You better believe it, brother.”
“This is illogical.”
” … “
“Very well. Who is there?”
“The Terran fruit or the pigment?”
“It doesn’t matter. Either one.”
“Then I choose Earth’s pithy citrus.”
“…You know what? NEVER MIND.”
“I do not ‘get it.’”
2. I admit this one is probably funny if you are a bit of a grammar-nazi.
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Tags: child development, development, funny, grammar, grammar-nazi, humor, humour, jokes, knock-knock, Spock, Star Trek, toilet humor, toilet humour, Vulcan
Categories : Humour, Opinion
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Tags: bible, bizarre, feminism, funny, humour
Categories : Humour, Opinion
Some people collect countries like scalps. And not every country has the same value. The more touristy, the less value. The more perceived danger, the more value. Even if you missed the “danger” period by a decade or more. And so I claim Egypt, Kenya, Zimbabwe, South Africa – more exotic and exciting than England, New Zealand, Singapore (but no less enjoyable). We did manage to time our visit to Egypt six months after the hand grenade attack on the tourist bus outside the Cairo Museum, and six months before the machine-gun attack on the tomb of Hat-sep-Chut (which I know I have misspelled). The most exciting thing that occurred while we were in Egypt was the 18-year-old armed youth on National Service as tourist police who tried to pick me up in the Cairo Museum (“Come with me and I’ll show you the Tomb of Ramses II” – an original line, if nothing else.) The fact that I was walking with my boyfriend seemed to be irrelevant. (NB: Tourist Police are supposed to guard the tourists – most of them seemed to be 18, carrying loaded weapons and on National Service. Their impressions of western women – and I generalise here – seemed to be somewhat jaundiced. While as Australians, we were somewhat nervous being watched and guarded by armed guards, the South Africans we were travelling with were relieved and said they would be much less comfortable of the guards had not been there.)
The following picture was sent to me at work. I can’t quite work out the “logic” or criteria for allocating each cause of death to each country, but I note that China does not feature as having a notable cause of death. Perhaps the source of their longevity? Not sure the same can be said for much of Central Africa, which also appears not to have any specific notable deaths. And in sheer numbers, shark attacks really do not feature that highly in Australia, despite what we might tell tourists. (Diabetes, cardio-vascular disease and cancer feature more highly, as in many western countries, including England, another notable left off the list.)
And seriously – death by lawnmower in the US? Is that not an episode of Six Feet Under?
Like some more Australian KULCHA (culture) abroad? Try Australians abroad.
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Tags: Australia, bizarre, Cairo Museum, cancer, cause of death, central Africa, China, CVD, diabetes, Egypt, England, funny, Hat-Sep-Chut, humour, Kenya, National Service, New Zealand, Ramses II, shark attacks, Singapore, Six Feet Under, tourist, Tourist Police, travel, Zimbabwe
Categories : at large, Health, Humour, Opinion
So it’s New Year’s Day, I have had my regular joke with friends in Europe and the US (I kindly let them know that the world didn’t end at midnight). So far I have been active on the New Year’s resolution list (although I am still assembling the actions for the “plan” – a phase I expect to continue for most of the year). And the New Year’s Resolutions cartoons have started coming in……. so here are a few of the better ones, courtesy Facebook / Mud Map. Keep ‘em coming!
I think this next one is my favourite….although quite why it has talking dogs is not explained….
There are a series of cartoons similar to this next one, doing the rounds.
and reiterating that you can’t change others, you can only change yourself….
…and for those of a paranoid frame of mind, if someone is suddenly nice to you….
This next one isn’t actually a joke, but it is interesting to see the number of New year’s resolutions and the content….Numbers 3, 4, 5 and 9, 10, 11 seem very do-able, for instance….
PS – if you want to get these sorts of cartoons directly, subscribe on Facebook to George Takei, I Love to laugh and FB~ Troublemakers. The last one does have some offensive content, so have a look and see if it is for you before you subscribe.
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Tags: cartoons, funny, goal setting, humour, jokes, New Years Resolutions
Categories : Humour, Opinion, Uncategorized
I am told I have a loud laugh. When I go on holidays, that is what the office notices – it’s suddenly quiet. (I like to flatter myself that they miss other things as well, but somehow this is what is commented on.)
I laugh at lots of things. Often, I laugh at myself. I laugh at my reactions to various things that happen around the office – “wins”, setbacks, frustrations, mistakes and miscommunications. I laugh if something is amusing. I laugh if something takes me by surprise. I laugh in staff meetings when we report back on some of the funny things that happen in our workdays, some of the strange problems I get to deal with (currently I have a sunken boat I need to get raised – so far out of my prior field experience, it seems bizarre to contemplate). I laugh at the differences in perceptions between myself and others – we all come from our own point of view and the difference between those perspectives is often enormous.
All in all, humour works very well for me. I hope the office understands that they can talk to me about pretty much anything. If I explode it will be with laughter, and then we can sit down and work our way through the problem. Laughter is the best medicine, as they say.
I now have a PA who (as well as having an excellent can-do attitude and being very talented) has a very loud laugh and laughs often. We have become a very noisy end of the office. I don’t think that is a bad thing. The sound of laughter, even if you aren’t in on the joke, sets a pleasant tone, cutting through tensions and underlining that you can enjoy your time at work, even when you are under pressure. People want to be here and they want to work here. Why would you want to work somewhere where everyone is miserable?
We use humour in our staff newsletters. As well as valuing incidental humour such as in staff profiles (which they write themselves), we also have jokes and brain-teasers interspersed with the more serious aspects of the newsletter. Hopefully that not only sets the tone for the entire newsletter, but keeps people reading.
I should be clear that none of the laughter is mean. We aren’t laughing at others, and we have an appropriate seriousness with the sad and bad things we sometimes have to deal with in the human services field. We occasionally laugh at our reaction to others and to events, but not at people, clients or staff. The laughter is underpinned by a compassionate view of the world.
And so a study from the University of Kent that found that positive reframing using humour also had beneficial effects on satisfaction comes as no surprise. Positive morale is good for developing a self-motivated cohesive team. But it is also a quality issue. Positive morale is linked to good judgement – decision making.
So maybe one of the most important things I can do at work is develop a positive team morale. As well as making it a more pleasant place for staff, it is so much more enjoyable for me to go to work there as well.
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Tags: humour, Journal of Consumer Research, Journal of Consumre Research, laughter, staff morale, stress, stress relief, team building, UNiversity of Kent
Categories : In the office, Positive psychology